Everything is Terrifying

Stay at current workplace – be made to feel like an incompetent imbecile for the remainder of my days, waiting to either be fired or replaced. Possibly go insane.

Go back to school for something I probably should have gone with ten years ago – can’t afford not to have a full-time job and do this. Might have to stay at current job, or take two huge chance at once and obtain new job and school. Potential for massive debt.  Sidelined for many years. If I can’t hack it I’m no better off.

He wants to go back to Japan. He wants me to go too… Grandmother would have a motherfucking heart attack. What the hell would happen to my cats? And I’d be in Japan. I don’t know if that’s a pro or con.

Jesus Christ how did I end up such a mess?

So When’s My Next Vacation?

Dear Coworkers:

Can you all remember how to do your jobs please? It makes my life a lot easier.

Dear Specific Coworker:

Please don’t make me be the catalyst for why she fires your ass.  Pretty sure a part of you wants it to happen, and I get it, and it’s probably going to happen. But it will give me a case of the sads. Moreso.

The King is Dead…

…Long Live the King.

Unexpected and yet not. Could you have pictured him an old man?

I think the saddest thing I have read about this (and there are many of them) is that the only reason he wanted to do the last tour was so his kids (born after things got weird and he became a punchline) could see him perform. To see what made their father great, before he became more famous for things other than his music.

Friday

I’m tired of rain.

Was feeling anxious about the amount of people Scheria invited on Friday. Turns out I needn’t have worried – it was the few and the proud who actually turned up, only two of the four were current SW employees. Not sure how I should feel about that. Once I got drunk enough to forget why I was in a terrible mood, I had a lot of fun with the folks who stayed for games. I’m better at air hockey when people haven’t bought me shots though, I swear.

Reason for pre-party terrible mood: Had a cheery (seriously) conversation with my boss about my apparent pending demotion. Yeah. I’m apparently bad at my stupid, easy job.  Nearly thirty and still trying to figure out what I’m good at, if anything. I feel like the second I get my head up above the waves something always shoves me back underwater.

Not a great weekend.  And now it’s over and I get to do it all again.

Make Way For Gosslings

Alright so…

This week sucked. To make up for it I went drinking with two of the coworkers who still like me.  It was fun – being drunk is fun. Unfortunately my brain was overriding my ability to have coherent conversation on the ride home with the need to pee.

(Pause in this story to laugh because thw cat fell off my desk. Hee.)

Under my extreme embarressment, I’ll focus on the fact that before I lost the ability to speak he called me a friend. And that’s pretty damn good.

Blargh

Dramarama at work. Increasigly paranoid that I am going to get fired.

Have a case number for bankruptcy. Lawyer not optimistic.

Idol is boring this year.

Tired.

Yeah that’s all I got right now…

Not Much to Say Lately

Disconcerted about the lawyer visit Tuesday.

The wheels seem to be coming off at work. 6 menus on the priority this week.

I know better than to be friends with boys with girlfriends.

About 5 minutes at a time is all I can handle at the moment.

The MTA

Here is how the MTA cuts would affect   10305

Click here to do another search

Service Type	Name	Change	Time
Bus	S76	Service Eliminated	Weekends
Express Bus	X1	Service Reduction	Weekends
Express Bus	X10	Service Reduction	Weekends

Subway	R	Fewer Trains	Weekdays – 9 PM-Midnight
Subway	R	Fewer Trains	Weekends
Subway	R	Fewer Trains	2 AM-5 AM

13 dollar toll on the VN Bridge.

I am apparently never leaving my house again.

Dear Clothing Makers:

I have a waist people.  Swear to god. I tried on a shirt yesterday that was comically unflattering. Not only did I look pregnant, I looked about two weeks overdue.  I couldn’t even be upset about it because it crossed over into hilariously bad.

I want to go here, soon if I can’t muster up the energy today:

Re/Dress

And here on April 4th:

Fat Girl Flea Market